Liking someone generally means that you find their personality/values/attitudes to be positive, and you are happy to support them and be kind to them. You might even be friends.
Respecting someone means that you may not like someone for whatever reason, but you still respect their basic human rights and their existence as a fellow human being.
I've noticed - from multiple perspectives - that the line between respect and 'likeability' is so incredibly blurred. A simple conversation over coffee can turn into a vengeful hate session against another human being. So much so that I found myself having to reevaluate how I communicate with others.
It's more than okay to express distaste for the way someone has treated you directly. It is not okay to rip them to shreds simply because you don't like them.
Calling someone out on their behaviour is NOT the same as calling someone out on being themselves.
Ultimately, every single living person will have to deal with someone they don't get along with. Perhaps your business strategies don't mesh, or your morals clash. You might not even know what it is but you just. don't. like. them.
But you don't have to live with them.
For example, I am sick of women being against other women, particularly for petty reasons.
"I just don't like her". Fine. Don't talk to her.
"She's a bitch, so stuck up." Or alternatively, she's happy and confident with herself.
"She's just so trashy." You don't like her clothes? Don't wear them.
There are so many other ways to articulate your discomfort with someone's behaviour. If anyone treats you as anything less than a human being, you should feel no shame in standing up for yourself and putting an end to it. You don't have to comment on the individual. You don't have to refer to them at all. But you can comment on their behaviour.
"So-and-so said this about me the other day, and I found it to be hurtful and uncalled for." - YES.
"I tried to speak to Insert Name Here about this Important Document, but was brushed off. Then, I received the blame for it not reaching Really Important Person. I don't think that was fair." - YES.
"Sally Smith completely ignored my suggestions in the group assessment. She's such an ugly cow." - NO. NO NO NO NO NO.
You are no better than those inflicting pain on you if you actively seek to be brutal and spiteful.
By writing this post, I don't think I'm perfect by any means. When I get riled up by some good old-fashioned discrimination or people insulting my 'prudish ways', I can hop on the phone and have a good vent like anyone. But there's a distinct difference between getting it out of your system, and actively seeking to hurt another human. When you know that what you say is going to be repeated, it's common sense to censor yourself. Filter out the negative energy and focus on what really matters.
Do whatever you like. Be whomever you like. But don't ever hurt another human being.
That's how you show respect.
You might think it's 'right' to get 'justice' as you actively seek out your revenge. But it's not. If your safety (physical/mental/emotional) is being compromised, you have every right to protect yourself. But if no one's attacking you, then there's no need for you to jump the gun and attack at all.
They may not like you. But that's okay. You don't have to like them either.
But if they are letting you be, and respecting your worth as a person/colleague/peer/great aunt thrice removed, then you have a responsibility to extend that same courtesy to them.
And if you choose not to, well hey, that's your prerogative. But you can't expect respect if you fail to earn it from others, can you?
I'm making a conscious effort to be courteous and kind. I'm doing my best to retrain my mind to respect everyone - everyone - I come in contact with.
I believe that everyone has the right to feel safe and respected in their environment.
Don't you?
