I'm seeing so many articles around regarding the 'person first' vs. 'identity first' language usage when it comes to those living with disability. It was surprising to me to see that the majority of these articles are written by those who identify as disabled people, and who are vehemently against identifying as people with disabilities.
It was surprising to me because long before I had any understanding of the social constructs surrounding disability, I had personally found offence in being referred to as a disabled person.
Disclaimer: I'm fairly independent in regards to mobility. My physical impairment is muscular and I'm incredibly weak and in pain 80% of the time, though I have used mobility aids at times of great physical exertion as needed, i.e. getting from class to class in high school, or on long shopping trips, or whenever my body basically gives up on me and I need some help.
The reason I personally find offence in being referred to as a disabled person is that I just don't believe my physical impairment has anything to do with who I am. At all. If you want to call me strong or 'brave' or whatever inspirational hippie mumbo-jumbo you want, you can, but don't say that it's because I've 'overcome' my condition. F*ck that.
I've just been going through the motions for 20 years. I haven't had to overcome my condition. I've had to overcome disrespect, hate, blatant discrimination and 'omg you should be empowered and love yourself and your disability omg life is precious xoxoxoox'.
Again. F*ck that.
My name is Maddie. I have a passion for theatre, and I'm currently fortunate enough to be channeling that into my career as we speak while studying full time and working three jobs. I have an affinity for ridiculous puns and inappropriate jokes and early 00's pop music. You'll probably find me eating a burrito or writing another stupid parody song with the well overused ukulele. I don't have a filter. I still have no idea how the bloody hell to do the dating thing. I love obnoxiously lip-syncing in the car to Taylor Swift and rewatching Friends and Gilmore Girls and The Office again and again. I've worked incredibly hard to get to where I am now.
THAT'S who I am. Maddie. A person. A mother-effing person with friends and family and a LIFE that exists OUTSIDE of the limits of my poor muscle tone and curved spine. I was born with a disability. So what? I was also born with a really big head and an unfortunate hairline. You don't see me using those descriptors with every introduction, do you?
I don't use the word 'disability' when introducing myself. Why would I? My condition is literally one 29481039480923840935th of who I am.
And you can't claim that I have a right to identify as I choose while completely dismantling and disrespecting the language I find most comforting. That's incredibly hurtful and quite frankly, hypocritical. If you want to be referred to as a disabled person, that's your prerogative. But I refuse to identify as a disabled person because I simply don't see myself that way. Please respect that.
The word 'disability' and its most common usage right now is something I find incredibly offensive. Again, that's just me. This is a notion that so many people have found surprising/controversial, but hear me out.
Definition of disabled in English:
adjective
1 (Of a person) having a physical or mental condition that limits their movements, senses, or activities:
facilities for disabled people
1.1 Relating to or specifically designed for people with a physical or mental disability:
disabled access is available at all venues
http://www.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/english/disabled
When someone refers to me as disabled, they are saying that I am unable. That's what I hear. And to me, that's discrimination. If that's not what you hear, that's fine, but when referring to you, my opinion doesn't matter. If we're referring to me, does your opinion matter?
No.
Ooh, Maddie's gettin' bitchy.
The thing is, I'm NOT unable. I'm very, very able. Sure, stairs are an ordeal and don't ask me to lift something because I'll probably drop it and do some damage to my arms in the process. But it hasn't stopped me from living my life the way I choose to.
I've been doing this for twenty years. I know how it goes. I know how my body works. I know how society works. I know what discrimination is. I've been hurt by it. You know what else I've been hurt by?
Being 13 and having friendships turn sour, having an old friend spread rumours, bullying in the workplace, liking a silly boy and him not liking me back, the series finale of Friends, the loss of a loved one, the end of a burrito, the feeling of disappointment over some bad grades, and so much more.
So much more.
Because I am so much more.
I am so much more than a diagnosis or a mobility aid.
I am so much more than my disability.
I am a person first.
So please refer to me as such.
And if you refer to yourself using different language, embrace it. Use it. Share it with me, and I'll use your preferred language when talking to you. Because it's about YOU.
There's no one-size-fits-all. Everyone is different. But it's our responsibility as human beings to display as much kindness and respect as possible, so that everyone can feel safe in the world they're forced to live in.
Please. Let me feel safe.
Because I don't.
Fin.
P.s. I'm incredibly nauseous right now, which probably doesn't bode well for angry-blog-writing, but oh well. Let me know if there are any errors. There's probably a dozen. Also share your thoughts below, if you have any.
